When You're SO Committed To Staying Where You Are

The other day I was sitting on the couch watching Gilmore Girls reruns.

And simultaneously wasting time on my cell phone.

Because that’s what we all do now.

A quick Facebook scroll led me to a live stream of Tony Robbins imparting wisdom on a high level group of leaders.

Have you SEEN Tony do his thing?

I swear, I wasn’t even that into him until his documentary came out on Netflix.

Now I have a slight obsession.

Every time I watch one of Tony’s videos I LEARN ALL THE THINGS!!

And they inspire me so much to get off my lazy ass.

Until the other day.

You know, when he had to compete with Gilmore Girls.

I had to mute GG to be able to hear TR on my phone. (I know, tough life.)

But then my attention got pulled back towards GG, and even as it was on mute, I felt like I just HAD to see that scene with Luke and Lorelai.

By the way, I’ve probably seen this scene 5 times already.

And then, it happened:

I stopped playing the Tony video to unmute the Gilmore Girls rerun.

Now, on the surface, to the average person, this doesn’t sound like a big deal.

Actually, it sounds like something most people do every day.

But it’s a HUGE FREAKIN DEAL, and we need to talk about it.

I had the choice to listen to inspiring words from Tony that would help me change my life for the better, OR re-watching a scene of Gilmore Girls. And I sadly chose the latter.

What I did was prove that I am SO COMMITTED to staying where I am.

And I know I’m not the only one.

Most of us, as humans, are extremely committed to staying where we are.

The moment something comes our way that could solve a problem for us, or make our lives better, we immediately say, “eh, maybe some other time.”

Because accepting a solution means the big ugly C word….CHANGE.

And let’s be honest, we don’t want to change.

We want to keep eating french fries and cake.

We want to keep watching TV instead of going to the gym.

We want to stay home instead of move to Los Angeles.

We want to stay at this crappy job instead of find one that inspires us.

We want to keep doing things our own way instead of investing in a coach that gets us there faster.

And we want to watch that rerun of Gilmore Girls instead of learn something new that will change our life.

What are you currently committed to?

This whole staying-where-you-are thing doesn’t happen consciously, so you may have to dig deep for a second and get honest with yourself to answer that question.

If you’re not where you want to be with your dreams, what life, what career, what comforts are you committing to?

I know change is scary AF, and super uncomfortable.

But guess what’s on the other side?

Your. Dreams.

Starting today, I dare you to turn this around.

Instead of staying committed to where you are, I dare you to commit to your dreams.

I know you can do this.

I’m turning off the damn TV and watching some Tony.

What are you going to do?

A Simple Way To Shorten The Time You Struggle in Hollywood

There was this one time—let’s call it, “The Worst 9 Months of My Life”—when I was this close to punching someone in the face when they asked me, “So what show are you on now?”

Because I wasn’t working on any show.

And that same person would check in and ask the same question 6 months later and I STILL wasn’t working on any show.

It was embarrassing.

Not like being called Toby when your name is Chandler and never correcting the person, level of embarrassing --- no, this was like being naked in school and everyone pointing and laughing at you, level of embarrassing.

(And yes, there’s a Friends reference in there. It’s an incurable disease, so get used to it!)

I never punched the person. Remember, I was this close.

Instead, I hid.

In my cave of a bedroom in Hollywood.

Tears streamed down my face, as I desperately wondered why I hadn’t been a Hollywood success story yet.

I felt completely powerless—like my dreams were in the hands of the Industry Gods.

And for whatever reason, they deemed it was not my turn yet.

But how long does it take?

5 years? 10 years?

How much struggle must we go through before we can have those careers we dream of?

For me, it was 9 months.

For others, it’s 7 years.

The timeline of struggle is going to be different for everyone.

What I’ve learned is that if you want your “struggle” to be short-lived, there are some things you need to change in your approach to your career.

And I want that to start NOW for you.

Because I know what it’s like to start contemplating other careers.

When your family is in a different city, state, or even country.

And you start to consider this other life that you could be living.

A life where you move back home, live closer to family, and take on another job that may interest you.

One where you feel you’ve given your time to Hollywood, and you just can’t live the current way anymore.

One where you pursue a different aspect of the business because you’ve convinced yourself that your interests have changed, but secretly it feels easier than what you’ve been attempting.

No matter how it looks for you—no matter what new avenue you consider—giving up can be tempting.

Honestly, there is nothing wrong with quitting Hollywood.

I completely understand why you’d want to get out.

But if, deep down inside, you still want your Hollywood dream, then quitting should not be on your to-do list. At least not today.

I believe in dreams.

I believe in YOUR dreams.

Like, in a Pixar movie kind of way.

In that innocent, believes-in-Santa-Claus kind of way.

I’m able to because my dreams have come true. And I’m watching my clients’ dreams come true.

Now, it’s YOUR turn.

Let’s break down why it’s so damn difficult to “make it” in Hollywood.

I think there are 5 major reasons worth addressing:

1. Lack of a concrete path to follow
2. Constant rejection
3. You’re powerless: it feels like your career is in the hands of the industry
4. No accountability: it’s completely up to you to take action
5. Negativity in Hollywood

Lack of Concrete Path

There is no specific path to follow to get a job in Hollywood. No matter what aspect of the entertainment industry, there is no obvious way to make it happen. Most corporate jobs have easy-to-follow paths: you can submit your resume, apply to a position, get an interview, climb the ladder, etc.

We don’t have any of that in our dream careers. So it can be difficult to figure out where to start or what move to make next.

Constant rejection

This isn’t just for actors. Rejection happens all across the boards, much more frequently than any other industry. It’s so intense, that it goes way beyond having a “thick skin”. Rejection can wear your soul down after so many rounds.

You’re powerless

It always feels like your career is in the hands of the industry. Like you’re just waiting for someone to say YES to you. When your career isn’t unfolding the way you’d like, it makes sense to blame the industry.

No accountability

With most of our dreams, there isn’t a boss telling you what to do. Sure, when you book a gig, there is usually someone telling you what to do on the gig. But in terms of the big picture of your dreams, there is no one making sure you write a script by next month, or practice those lines, or work on your portfolio. Most days it is completely up to us to take action. It’s like working out without a trainer--did you really do 100 squats yesterday? Trying to beat procrastination and laziness every single day is no easy feat.

Negativity in Hollywood

You hear stories and stereotypes of people and experiences in Hollywood, most of which are negative. Fake relationships, lack of trust, lack of human decency. It can be difficult to stay positive and feel empowered.

With these 5 major issues, I understand why you may contemplate quitting.

But like I mentioned earlier, if you want your “struggle” to be short-lived, you simply have to change a few things in your approach.

Translation: Start by changing these 5 issues

Because here's the thing: it's really easy to get upset about these 5 hurdles. It's totally understandable to feel completely defeated, like you're climbing an uphill battle. But if you want to be successful at your dream, you have to figure out a way to change your response to them.

Tony Robbins always says, "Life happens for you, not to you." So how can we switch this negative situation from something crappy that's happening TO us, to something that empowers us?

My favorite mentor-from-afar, Jack Canfield, has a super simple equation to help us:

E + R = O  {Event + Response = Outcome}

It's all about how you respond to these events that determine your outcome.

You can choose to respond like this: "This is just how Hollywood is and it sucks, and I'm completely powerless in this situation—there's nothing I can do about it."

What kind of outcome (or results in your career) do you think you will have with that response?

Or, you can choose to respond like this: "These are the problems in front of me. What can I do to change them in order to succeed? I won't let these problems define my career path."

What kind of outcome (or results in your career) do you think you will have with that response?

If you open yourself up to possibilities, there is always another approach. And what we really need here, is an approach that is conducive to success.

So, how can you flip these 5 issues, total HGTV style?

Take these problems that are presented in front of you, and get rid of them: clean them out, do a complete gut job, and replace them with something new that makes you happy-cry during the big reveal?

I am going to show you exactly how to do it in The Inner Circle With Erica, which is opening doors in just a few days.

But for now, let’s tackle one of them: Lack of concrete path

How can you take this lack of concrete path and replace it with something positive and shiny and beautiful?

You’ll need to start by figuring out a concrete path.

If you don’t know what step to take next, or even how to start, what can you do to figure that out?

The fastest way is to ask someone who has done it: The “M” in the LA Bound System of CMG. The “M” stands for MODEL.

You can easily model a path that has worked for someone else. If you don’t know what steps to take, find someone who has already done what you want to do, and ASK THEM.

From their answers, you can form a concrete path.

Everyone will ultimately have their own path, and you may do things differently than your model. But you need to start somewhere. So why not start with something proven? There is no need to reinvent the wheel.

What is something you want to do in your career right now, that you aren’t exactly sure how to make happen?

Got it?

Ok, now that you’ve got that one thing, who has already done it? If you don't know someone in your immediate circle, can you find someone you don't know? (Yes, this will totally require you to hop outside of your comfort zone.)

Can you ask them HOW they did it? What steps they took? What mistakes to avoid?

It’s so simple, and yet many people don’t do this.

But how great would it feel to flip that first Hollywood issue?

To finally have a concrete path?

I think pretty FLIPPING amazing.

Ah, see what I did there?!

I’m so punny!

But seriously, look how easy it can be to turn things around.

If whatever you’ve done so far hasn’t landed you your dream job yet, that’s OK. All you need to do is change your approach.

You need a fresh start. A chance to get re-motivated. A chance to feel empowered again, and excited about your dreams.

All it takes is a simple flip.

The Best Way To Use Your Creativity To Achieve Your Hollywood Goal 10x Faster

This whole Hollywood thing feels like a never-ending game of hurry-up-and-wait.

Am I right?!

You put yourself out there, book meetings, go to auditions, interview, and then wait. And then you wait some more. Oh, and hey, wait a little longer.

It feels like the power is in the hands of the industry, and you have no control when Simon is going to hit that golden buzzer and let it rain gold confetti as your wish is finally granted. (I know, I love that analogy, but it's just so perfect!)

So it’s very common for you to create other projects or take on other jobs while you wait. Especially when creativity is in your blood and you’re itching to create something.

And to be honest, sometimes we just want to fill our plate with other projects and jobs so we can feel productive. Like we are doing something with our lives. So we have something to talk about when people ask that dreaded question, “What are you working on?”

It always comes from a good place, too. Whether you decide to help a friend with their web series, write a book about your experiences, take on a new job, or any other project that begs for your time, you have the best intentions. You have talents and you want to flex those muscles!

And while you mean well, each new project you say “YES” to could be delaying your dream, pushing it back further and further.

Whoa.

I know that may be hard to hear, so let me explain more clearly with one of my fantastic metaphors:

Let’s say I want you to clean the kitchen floor, make your bed, and vacuum the living room, and I want you to complete it all in 1 hour. Cleaning the kitchen floor will take you 40 minutes, making your bed will take 10 minutes, and vacuuming will take 20 minutes. When you add all of them up, it will take more than an hour to complete all 3 tasks.

What do you do? You have 3 options:

• You can rush through each job to try to get it all done in time
• You can skip one of the tasks and only complete two
• You can half-finish each task

When you take on several projects or jobs, it presents the same problem.

If you are writing a book, trying to land a series regular role in a TV series, and launching a new blog all at once, you have the same 3 options as listed above.

While you don’t have a specific deadline in your real-life example, splitting your energy on so many different projects expands the time it takes to achieve any of them.

Going back to the cleaning example, what if I changed it and said you have 1 hour to make your bed?

Leaving Parkinson’s Law aside (a long story for another day!), you could essentially have that bed made in 10 minutes, with 50 minutes to spare! In comparison with the options before, of either rushing through the task, skipping a task, or half-finishing a task, this new parameter allows you to complete the task faster and better.

Trust me, I know as a creative person, it feels impossible to focus on one goal at a time.

But if you want your dream goal to happen 10x faster, it is the key.

When your calendar is full with many different projects, your energy is split. It’s like giving 25% of your energy to 4 different things, instead of giving 100% of your energy to one thing.

I see this happen all the time, and it breaks my heart because a simple tweak to your schedule could make a HUGE difference.

Recently, when I was building my private coaching program and working on growing my membership site, I felt completely torn down the middle. It was really difficult for me to mentally shift gears, growing two very different programs. Even though they were both under my company LA Bound, they required my time and energy separately. I would spend one day on the membership site, and the next day on the coaching program. But questions would always come up for each, crossing over their designated days. I was never able to fully commit 100% to either program and I felt like it was taking FOR-EV-ERRRR (Sandlot style with the flashlight) to make any progress.

I remember complaining to my friend, “OMG! I wish I could just focus on one of these! They would grow so much faster if I focused on one at a time!” I was legit envious of other people who were growing their businesses at lightning speed because they only offered one product at a time.

And then I realized that I create my own life, and I can do what I want! So a month ago, I closed the doors to the membership site and I’m solely focusing on high-level coaching.

You have the same freedom. And yes, I’m calling it freedom!

Being tied to multiple projects is like putting yourself in Goal Jail. It severely delays your ability to achieve your dream goals. I know that sounds harsh, but my priority is helping you achieve success, not to sugar coat this journey.

Take a look at your calendar. How many hours per week are you spending on your dream goal?

How many hours per week are you spending on other projects?

If you cleared your calendar right now, and focused on ONLY your dream goal for an entire week, where do you think you would be at the end of the week? (You can find out by downloading this free 7 Day Calendar Challenge.)

Since I’m aaaaaallll about the metaphors, here is another one:

Let’s say you and your friend Bob both want to get better at basketball. For one week, you both work towards this goal of becoming a better player.

Bob decides to practice for 1 hour every day. The rest of the day he works on other goals, like building a wooden shelf for the house, and mastering his online poker skills.

You decide to practice for 6 hours a day. You don’t do anything else except eat and sleep and practice basketball for an entire week.

Who do you think will perform better at the end of the week? You or Bob?

It’s a bit of an extreme example, but you get the picture.

When you work on one goal at a time, that goal is achieved 10x faster than if you work on 4 goals at a time.

And it isn’t even just your time. It isn’t even just about hours spent.

It’s your physical and mental energy. Where is your mind focused?

If you want your goal to happen 10x faster, your energy and mind need to be focused on it 100%.

This doesn’t mean that you can’t do your other projects. This doesn’t mean that you can’t accomplish your other goals or be multi-passionate.

It simply means that you should approach them one at a time if you want them to happen quickly.

Look at the current results in your career. Are they inconsistent? Are they happening in slow motion?

Your results will mirror your actions.

Are your actions inconsistent? Are you working towards your dream in slow motion?

If you want to change your results, you have to change your actions. What kind of results do you really want in your career?

How can you change your actions to mirror that desired outcome?

There is a really simple question that you can ask yourself in order to make a shift.

Will this project/job delay my dream? Or will this project/job bring me closer to my dream?

When you make your dream your #1 priority, and you are able to answer those questions honestly, your dream will start to happen so much faster.

That’s why in The Inner Circle with Erica, you’ll only be allowed to work on one goal for the entire length of the program. I know, blasphemy! But I’m all about getting results as quickly as possible. So whether your goal is to sell a script, get representation, land a role on a TV show, etc., it’s the only project you focus on until you achieve it. Then you can move on to your next goal.

When I moved to LA, my goal was to work on a TV show as a Graphic Designer. It’s the only thing I focused on every single day. I booked my first show within 2 weeks of moving—by the way, I had literally zero contacts in the industry. (See what you can accomplish if you focus on one thing every day with this free 7 Day Calendar Challenge.)

The other part of this, is the dreaded Shiny Object Syndrome.

It's our weakness as creative people.

Any idea that pops into our head MUST be started immediately!

The problem is, it leaves many projects unfinished.

And the one project that shouldn't be left unfinished is your BIG HOLLYWOOD DREAM.

Take a hot second and think about what that dream is.

What haven't you achieved yet?

Is it selling a script?

Is it booking a role?

Is it making a living in the entertainment industry?

If you haven't achieved it yet, it's an unfinished goal.

What else in your life is unfinished?

What other projects have you left lying on the side of the road?

The AMAZING news about all this, is that it's super easy to fix.

All you have to do is pick one of those unfinished goals and work on ONLY THAT until it's finished.

Like anything new, it’s going to feel awkward at first. You’ll desperately want to go back to what is comfortable. But when the results start flying in, you’ll never want to do it another way again.

You moved to LA for a dream. Why not make that dream happen as soon as possible?

You may have objections. It’s natural to want to cling to your current circumstances and prove to the world that you’ve been doing everything right.

But at the end of the day, it’s not about being right or wrong. It’s about achieving your dream. Period.

Everything you’ve done so far has made you who you are, and has brought you to right here, right now. You deserve the dream you’ve been tirelessly working towards. 

I often hear people talk about seriously pursuing other jobs while working on their dream “on the side”. This usually stems from fear (which I will talk all about in my blog post next week). Setting fear aside for now, the problem with pursuing your dream “on the side” of other projects and jobs, is that you aren’t fully committing to your dream. And when you’re not fully committed, it’s never going to happen in a timeline that feels good.

So take this moment, and decide to fully commit. Even if your dream scares the crap out of you. Actually, if it doesn’t scare you at all, it’s not a big enough dream.

If you REALLY WANT your dream, even if that dream has just been a soft whisper, I have the greatest news ever: you can have it. But in order for you to grab it, you’re going to have to give it 100% and commit. I dare you to commit for at least the next 7 days.

The Best News Ever: You No Longer Need To Rely On Luck To Make It In Hollywood

“I just got lucky” is probably one of the most overused phrases in Hollywood success stories.

Just the other day, I was talking to a coworker about his success story, and he said “I just got lucky that my neighbor helped me break in.”

And then he said, “If it weren’t for that neighbor, I would have never made it.”

Hearing stories like this over and over again make it no surprise that most people believe that they have to get lucky to be successful in Hollywood.

Let me ask you: Do you believe it’s all about luck and timing, so you’re waiting for your lucky break? Is that why you haven’t reached the level of success yet that you’re hoping for?

I know I’ve called myself “lucky” in the past, when recalling my own success story. But after 8 years of building my career in television, I now believe luck has nothing to do with it.

Here’s the thing—what I’m about to share with you might sound a little like “luck”. It might sound like luck in disguise, like I’m just using different words. But I’ve learned that the words we choose can shape our entire career. So while it may seem like semantics, these words have a more profound impact than for which you’re giving them credit.

Abraham Hicks has an incredible quote:

“People get to the dock, and they think they missed their boat. But there is always another one coming.”

I know. I need to take a moment with that one, too!

There is always another one coming.

Similarly profound words were spoken by one of my heroes, Phoebe Buffay, when Joey thought he had just blown his one big break:

“I mean, I don’t think you just get one shot..”

Your Hollywood dreams will not rest on just one big break or one moment of luck.

If you REALLY WANT your dream, I’m talking, with ALL YOUR HEART, the universe will deliver many moments of “luck” when you’re ready.

Over the course of my career, I have had many opportunities, and many mess-ups. No matter how long I was unemployed, or what jobs I didn’t get, I was still able to build a wildly successful career spanning over 20 television shows.

I've learned that having the mindset that “it’s all about luck,” can be dangerous to your career because it forces you to take a passive role in your Hollywood pursuit.

One contact that I made in the very beginning, through cold emailing, ended up helping me book work for 7 years.

And yes, it’s easy to say, “Wow! You got so lucky with that contact!”

While I am deeply grateful for that opportunity, I know that I would have still been successful if I never made that contact. I would have found another way in because I wanted it that badly.

Let me take a hot second to break down what “luck” really is.

If you think about it, luck is simply an opportunity that grants your wish.

Sometimes it feels like the opportunity fell out of the sky.

Sometimes it feels like all the stars aligned to make this opportunity work out for you.

But not matter where it comes from, or how it feels, at the end of the day, it’s just an opportunity that grants your wish.

And what I’ve come to learn is that these opportunities can be created—as many times as you want (and you can create yours right now by plugging in your own dream career to my Lucky Formula free download).

You don’t have to wait for luck to fall into your lap. You can create your own opportunity that grants your wish.

So (in my best Genie voice), what is your wish?

If I could make luck happen for you, what wish would you like granted?

I’m going to throw one out there as an example: let’s say your wish is to book a role on a TV show.

If the only way that could happen is to get a lucky break, how would you pursue that dream?

What actions would you take to make that dream happen?

If you truly believed it’s all about luck and timing, you would meet that goal halfway, expecting luck to kick in the other half.

You’d always be waiting and wondering when your lucky break was going to come.

Even though you’d be taking some action, like auditioning, your mindset would be taking a passive role in your pursuit.

In order to create success much sooner, you have to take a more active role in your pursuit.

And if you're truly meant to do what you want to do, waters will part to make it possible.

If luck really is simply an opportunity that grants your wish, how can you create those opportunities?

Oprah says,

“Luck is when preparation meets opportunity.”

If the opportunity is what you want, then you have to prepare for that opportunity.

See, things like getting discovered in a shopping mall (does that happen in real life?!), or cold contacting someone who ends up helping you for 7 years, or having a neighbor who can break you into the industry, feel like they are completely random and lucky.

But those opportunities come around more often than you realize, if you’re open to them and are prepared.

What does being “prepared” even mean?

It means doing your homework.

It means doing everything in your power to physically and mentally be ready to seize the opportunity when it comes your way.

In order for Simon to press the golden buzzer and grant your wish as you’re showered with gold confetti, you have to show up and put yourself out there.

How do you want to show up?

One of my big dreams is to buy a house in the Hollywood Hills. It’s something that I deeply want, so I can have space for my family to come for extended visits. There is also something about the night view of Los Angeles that lights me up with inspiration, and I want to feel that every day.

I could wait for luck and play my chances at the lottery, in order to grant my wish of earning half a million dollars a year.

But I’ve chosen to show up differently.

I’ve chosen to prepare, so that I’m ready when the opportunity comes my way.

My “preparation” looks a lot like research. I’ve researched real estate, jumbo mortgages, calculated monthly payments, and gone to open houses.

Whenever my opportunity comes to buy a house, I’m going to be ridiculously ready.

How can you prepare? What does preparation look like for your dream? What can you do to be ridiculously ready when your lucky opportunity comes your way?

Once you nail that down, the second step is to create your own opportunities.

The universe will take notice of your preparation. It will see that you’re ready, and it will deliver “lucky” opportunities. But they won’t occur if you’re sitting at home waiting for the phone to ring.

How can you put yourself in places that opportunities could happen?

Jack Canfield, co-creator of the Chicken Soup for the Soul Series and multi-millionaire, says there are two types of actions you can take: obvious actions and inspired actions.

Obvious actions are like going to auditions, or casting workshops.

Inspired actions are like intuitively being led into a random coffee shop where you meet someone who becomes your agent.

“Luck” will find it’s way to you through either type of action.

What obvious actions can you start taking to up your chances of getting lucky?

What inspired actions can you take? If you’re not sure, spend some time and get more in tune with your dream (and download this freebie Lucky Formula to figure out the specifics). Visualize it happening. Write down your goals and read them out loud every day. That’s when inspiration will begin coming to you.

Luck is simply an opportunity that grants your wish.

Oh, and I forgot to tell you:

You’re the Genie.

You can grant your own wish.

What are you waiting for?

7 Questions To Answer Now So That You Can Finally Make The Shift From Your Day Job To Your Hollywood Dream Job

When did introducing yourself become the most anxiety-filled, shameful experience?

Remember when we were little and we couldn’t wait to say, “Hi! I’m Erica and my favorite color is blue!”

Or if you were really cool like me, it went more like this…..

“Hi! I’m Erica! That’s like ‘America’ without the ‘a’ and the ‘m’!”

I know, I know. My cleverness was mind-blowing!

Introducing yourself used to be so fun. And then LA had to poop all over it.

Because now, we introduce ourselves as our job. And when your current job is nowhere near what you really want to be doing, it can make you cringe at the question, “So what do you do?”

Every time I’ve been in-between shows, that question has practically destroyed me. And when I say I was in between shows, my longest period was 9 months. So I’m not talking about a few weeks.

I felt like a complete fraud introducing myself as a Graphic Designer for Television, when it had been so long since I had actually done it, and I had no idea if another job was ever going to come my way.

I cried so many times, wondering if I was ever going to get where I wanted to be.

Maybe you can relate. I hear these conversations all over LA:

“So what do you do?”

--“Well, I’m a waiter, but I really want to be an actor.”

--“Um, well, I work at a production company, but I’m also a writer.”

It’s like an identity crisis. Only worse, because there is so much embarrassment that goes with it.

I was so sick of that question, that it made me feel so much gratitude for where I am now. Twenty-seven TV shows later, I freaking love answering that question. It’s a really good feeling, especially knowing what it took to get here.

But I completely understand what it’s like to feel trapped by your day job. You moved to LA for a dream, a dream you know you’d kick butt at if someone freaking hired you. But real life keeps creeping in. Like bills and rent.

Taking on a day job is part of our survival. We’re “adulting” and whatnot, and it sucks, but we do whatever we need to do to stay in Los Angeles.

And that includes taking on a “day job."

A job that we don’t have a passion for.

A job that doesn’t make us jump out of bed every day with excitement.

A job that doesn’t even pay us what we feel like we should be making at this point in our lives.

But when we are strapped for cash, and survival mode kicks in, we just do it.

The problem is that it can steer us off our path without even realizing it.

Let me ask you a question that is probably 10x worse than, “So what do you do?”

(Don’t throw rocks at me, I swear I’m going somewhere with this!)

How long have you been at your day job?

I know that’s a really tough question to answer. Maybe you’ve been in your day job for a year. Maybe you’ve been in it for 5 years. No matter the length, it always feels too long.

Trust me, I’ve been there.

You moved to LA to pursue a dream and that dream just hasn’t happened the way you want.

But it’s a catch-22.

Because while you need the day job to support you until you make the dream job happen full time, it’s often your day job that kills your dream job.

And you may not even realize it.

The thing is, you mean well. You’re busting your butt to stay afloat and keep yourself in Los Angeles. You do what you think is right, you’re doing whatever you can to support yourself. You try not to let the fear of your financial situation consume you. You take on jobs that help you breathe again.

Throughout that entire process, though, you become trapped—trapped in a life that isn’t your dream. It’s like you’ve been chained down, handcuffed to this day job.

But guess what? You are the one who has the keys.

Your life in Los Angeles—whatever that looks like—is 100% created by you. And it can look however you want it to look. And it can feel however you want it to feel.

You are the Director/Writer/Producer/Show Runner of your life.

Up until now, you’ve let someone else write your story.

A story of, “But, Erica, what do you want me to do? I have to pay my rent, and this is the only way.”

But that’s just a story. A tale of fiction. A script that needs a rewrite.

I remember when my coach first told me that my own story was fiction. My initial reaction was, "Are you crazy?! This is real. This is my life. You think I want it this way??"

I was mad and felt insulted.

But after I had an ugly cry session and calmed down, my coach went on to explain how I could change my story. And that was the most empowering thing I had ever heard.

You can change your story, and if you want to save your dream from being abandoned on the side of the road, changing your story should become your top priority.

Let’s break this down. Here are common examples of how your day job can kill your dream job (figure out which one you relate to, it may be all of them):

• Your job is during the day, literally blocking you from taking auditions, meetings, interviews, etc.
• You get comfortable in your day job and used to the schedule, so you don’t feel the fire to push out of your comfort zone to make your dream job happen
• You get comfortable in your day job and seriously consider promotions (i.e. committing more to the day job)
• You find jobs that are still industry-related, so you can convince yourself that it’s going to help you in the long run
• The lack of passion and creativity used in your day job sucks you dry and your excitement for your dream job slowly fades
• The longer you’re in the day job, the more you question your worth, your talent, and your ability to succeed, which, in turn, affects how you pursue your dream (which I’ll elaborate on in an upcoming post)

Here’s the thing: there is no roadmap for pursuing an entertainment industry dream. It’s not like pursuing a regular 9-5 job where you find listings online, apply to the listing, submit your resume, get an interview, and land the job. We don’t have a roadmap like that. In fact, we have no roadmap at all. (That's why I've created one in my program The Inner Circle With Erica because it's about time we had one!)

With no roadmap, you've done the best you can with the knowledge you have. You've done whatever you had to do to pay your bills. You do whatever you have to do to figure out how on earth to achieve your dream career.

And along that path, there may be casualties. Dreams left on the side of the road, no longer being pursued.

So it’s totally understandable to get stuck in a day job.

But the damage may be worse than you realize.

Another question: (Don’t worry, this one isn’t so brutal.)

Do you still want your dream?

This is where you have to dig deep. This is where you have to be super honest with yourself.

Do you still want your dream?

Because I promise you, it’s out there waiting for you.

Your dream is achievable, and it’s ready when you are. Your current situation does not define your future.

All it takes is a few tweaks. (And you can even download my freebie "Get Out Of Your Day Job Plan" and start making those tweaks NOW!)

I know it can feel scary and uncomfortable to think about changing anything.

But remember when you took that big leap and moved to Los Angeles? You are capable of so much more than you realize.

Here are the 7 questions that you should ask yourself to get more clarity around your day job:

1. Is my day job blocking me from pursuing my dream the way it needs to be pursued?
2. Am I too comfortable in my day job?
3. Have I stopped trying as hard to pursue my dream because of the comfort my day job provides?
4. Do I think about being promoted in my day job?
5. Am I convincing myself that my day job relates to my dream job so I don’t feel so bad about deciding to take it?
6. Has my passion and excitement for my dream faded?
7. Do I fear that it’s been so long, that I’ll probably never make it at this point?

If you answered YES to any of these questions, it’s time to make a change.

Because you DO deserve your dream and it’s NOT TOO LATE.

What kind of changes can you make, to help get you back on track to making your dream career happen?

You can change your day job, or change your mindset (I walk you through both options in the Get Out Of Your Day Job Plan freebie that you can grab right here).

The greatest thing about RIGHT NOW is that there are so many ways to generate stable income. Your current day job is not the only way.

We often tell ourselves stories about why we need the specific day job that we have.

Whether that story is “there are no other jobs,” or “no one else will hire me,” or “I’m not qualified to do anything else,” it’s all a story that we cling to for dear life.

The more we identify with that story, the more we seek out situations and experiences to prove ourselves right.

But these stories aren’t true. They are only true in your mind.

And the worst story of all: “My dream is never going to happen.”

It’s time to change these stories.

It’s time to embrace why you moved to Los Angeles.

It’s time to reignite belief in your dream, and belief in yourself.

The way to do that, is to make that dream your priority. 

You know when there is a guy or girl that you really, really like, and you suddenly find yourself rearranging your schedule just to make time to see them?

That’s what you have to do with your dream.

You have to rearrange your life so that everything supports your ability to go after your dream. After all, it is something you really, really like, too, isn’t it?

Grab the key and release those chains. You’ve got this more than you realize.

If your job is getting in the way of your dreams, here are some job ideas that I call “no excuse jobs” (because they allow you to still pursue your dream, no excuses):

• Drive for lyft/uber
• Write a book, sell it on amazon
• Affiliate marketing online
• Freelance work on Upwork.com (or fiverr if you can up the price)
• Serving, Bartending

If your day job does allow you to pursue your dream, then it's time to create a rock-solid mindset.

What new story can you write about your dreams?

I would start with something like this:

“Achieving my dream in Los Angeles happens easily and effortlessly. Every action step I take brings me closer to my goal, and I feel excited every day to be working as a _________________. I am worthy and talented and completely capable of achieving my goal.”

Your old story is history.

Remember, you are the Director/Writer/Producer/Show Runner of your own life.

Do you want to observe your life as it happens?

Or do you want to create the life of your dreams?

The choice is yours.

All the power is in YOUR hands.

And it starts with belief in yourself. If you’re looking for a sign to tell you that you’re still meant for your dreams, This. Is. it.

You are still meant for your dreams.

And you can totally do this.

Self Sabotage: The Thing Stopping You From Success May Be You

When you've been in LA for at least a year, you're officially "in". 

LA is like this weird club that everyone wants to be a part of, but it takes time to really feel welcome and comfortable. There are some things that take you out of "tourist" mode quickly, like learning never to take the 405 from the westside to Glendale in Friday rush hour. (Or finally laughing at The Californians on SNL).

But other aspects of Los Angeles, and the entertainment industry, take more time to settle into. There are so many little steps that we learn along the way, like what "Base Camp" is, and what union we have to get into. Once we master that stuff, we finally feel like we're part of the club. And we begin speaking a language that people at home will never understand. 

So with official membership to club LA, why have some of your dreams still not happened?

You know how this place works by now. You talk the talk and walk the walk. 

But the level of success you were hoping for just hasn't happened yet.

After 7 years in this town, after ups and downs on this roller coaster ride, after bad days, and AMAZING days, it's become very clear to me that our biggest hurdle to making that jump, is actually ourselves.

I know that's a hard pill to swallow. You may have to go back and re-read that sentence several times until you really hear it. You may be getting in your own way so much, that you're not open to hearing that it could be something you're doing. 

I learned this from experience. After my first TV show (that was canceled, big surprise!), I couldn't get another job for 9 months. I spent 9 months thinking I was a total failure, and most of those 9 months in a deep depression. My parents had to help me with rent because I had no income. I shut everyone out: ghosting all texts that came in, and ignoring phone calls from my family. I cried almost every day, and wondered desperately, "Why me? Why can't I make my dreams happen?"

It wasn't until my coach told me a story that finally helped me see that I was my own biggest obstacle. I was getting in my own way, and it was clear I wouldn't find success if I continued down this path.

Once I let this realization in, the Universe began to open doors for me, and my success has been steady and growing ever since. I just wrapped on my 26th TV show, and all my wildest dreams have come true.

Now, I can spot self-sabotage a mile away. And it doesn't come in obvious forms like depression.

The biggest culprit? Fears and limiting beliefs.

We all have them. But it's what we do with them, and how we let them run our life that makes an impact.

Here is a list of some common fears and limiting beliefs. Read them, and honestly assess which you relate to the most:

1. I'm scared that I'm not good enough.
2. I'm scared that I'm not talented enough.
3. Making it in LA is really hard.
4. There is so much competition, how can I compete?
5. It's all about luck, and I just haven't been lucky yet.
6. My dream is too big, it will never really happen.
7. If I don't make it by next year, I'll just move back home.
8. Thank god I have a Plan B, because this plan is way too hard.
9. I feel like I'm trying so hard and nothing is working.
10. I feel like I'm not pretty, thin, or funny enough to really make it.
11. What will my friends and family say if I don't make it?

While it's perfectly normal to have these thoughts, as long as they continue to surface, you will attract circumstances to confirm them. Let me give you a totally off-topic example: I told my coach that I always date guys who don't treat me well. I'm constantly attracting people who don't want to get to know me. My coach explained that this was a story that I have created, and as long as I continue to believe that story, it will reign true again and again.

At first, I was super defensive. "You think I WANT this?!".... "This isn't a 'story', this is my life!"

Once I calmed down and was ready to listen, it hit me: OMG, she's right. Crap.

Yes, these men really existed in my life. But as long as that was my story that I believed—that men treat me badly—I attracted more men like that into my life just to prove myself right. 

Now, of course this wasn't happening consciously. There was something deeper going on in my subconscious. But my coach gave me an amazing exercise of creating a new story: literally writing a new story about my love life, in the third person. That exercise completely changed my perspective. And I haven't dated a crappy guy since.

The moral of this story, is that your limiting beliefs—the story that you tell yourself over and over again, is actually stopping you from having the career you want, and attracting events to confirm your deepest fears. 

When you tell yourself things like, "Making it in LA is really hard", and "I'm worried that I'm not talented enough to make it", you're keeping yourself shut off from a world where making it in LA is easy, and your talent is top notch.

These blocks can manifest in ways that you may not even realize. For example, maybe you take on a new job that completely blocks you from making your dream career happen, but you convince yourself that it's related. 

Or maybe you develop shiny-object syndrome and go after any new creative endeavor that comes your way because your real dream isn't happening. 

Or maybe you don't try new tactics to make your dream career happen because you've gotten comfortable in your current tactics, and you're too afraid to push outside of that comfort zone again.

Or, if you're like me, you fall into a depression, convince yourself you're a failure, and don't understand the impact that asking for help can have. 

No matter how the blocks manifest for you, these fears and limiting beliefs could be completely sabotaging you from getting to the level of success you desire. And until you fully understand what that means, you'll continue to swim in those mucky waters.

So what can you do to break the cycle? 

1. Get honest with yourself, figure out exactly what your fears are, and replace them with affirmations ("I am so happy and grateful to be a series regular on a TV show!")
2. Listen to my (free) audio training, "Your Biggest Dream Now"
3. Watch/listen to videos on Youtube by Abraham Hicks on abundance (I'm currently obsessed with this one)
4. Surround yourself with people who build you up—people who can lift you up when your fears are creeping in
5. Keep track of all your successes and celebrate them
6. Do activities that make you feel really happy and in your zone of genius

Breaking the cycle of self-sabotage is really simple. But that doesn't mean it's easy. Take one day at a time, and notice when these fears and limiting beliefs come up. As they say, the first step is always awareness. Then create a new story for yourself.

If you're still feeling stuck and you really want to take your career to the next level, sign up to work with me. This is my zone of genius, and my dream is to help you succeed. You deserve your dreams, no matter what anyone tells you. And no matter what you tell yourself.

Joy: The Key To Success

Guest: Meg Haines

Success can be described in many different ways, depending on the person you ask. When defining success in one’s career, some may say it is the acquisition of wealth or recognition. But truthfully, there is no amount of money or recognition alone that can make you feel successful. Once you have acquired those things, you will need more and more, perpetuating the endless quest for deeper satisfaction and fulfillment. I believe that success is not about the attaining of things or opportunities, but the reward of living a life that is on purpose, that is meaningful, and that is filled with joy.

Joy, understand, is not just the feeling of “being happy”. Think of a moment you had while working in your craft; that moment of knowing “YES, This is It! This is what I’m mean to do!” That moment is joy, the experience of your own purpose, power, and potentiality as a creative being. You were given a gift that is yours; that, to quote the great Martha Graham, “because there is only one of you in all time, this expression is unique.” Your life story, your passions, your perspective, your character, all of that must be honored. It is what separates you from everyone else in your field, therefore, you must do work that resonates with who YOU are and what brings YOU joy.

When you allow joy to be in charge of your career, you make decisions and choose projects that are not only more fulfilling and exciting to you. Your natural talent and ability shines through in a bigger way, because you are personally aligned with, and passionate about it. You see your work as fulfilling a greater desire and need in the world, and that feeling of purpose is something money can’t buy. The beautiful thing, however, is that when you honor your joy, the Universe gives you more to be joyful about. It magnifies and multiplies, giving you more recognition, more wealth, and more opportunities, so that you can continue to expand your work and share it in greater ways that are deeply meaningful to you.

HOW TO CONNECT TO YOUR JOY

Start by getting really clear on those moments of joy you’ve had throughout your career. What was the common thread between each of those moments?

What must your work include so that you feel deeply aligned with it?

What are you most passionate about? What is the bigger picture for you in terms of what you envision for your life’s work?

When making career decisions or choosing projects ask:

“Does this bring me closer to my joy? Do I feel joy when I think about this?”

Outside of your work, when do you feel the most joy? (aka: truth, connection, peace, purpose, trust, acceptance, love)

What kind of daily/ weekly rituals could you set aside time for that keep you consistently connected to your joy?

True success is a life well lived and loved.

Joy is the key to all of it.

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Meg Haines is an intuitive life coach, healer, and spiritual teacher helping women to create a loving relationship with themselves, deepen their spiritual connection and share their gift authentically, so they can serve the world in the way they were always meant to. Her online membership community, The Soul Sisterhood, provides coaching, healing and support to women all over the world. meghaines.com