This is really common when pursuing a dream, so don’t panic. Pursuing a dream is hard, this is why so many people don’t do it. Pursuing a dream is so much about who you become along the way, so these hopeless moments give you an opportunity to see how capable and strong you are. I know that’s an annoying thing to hear, but it’s true.

You can choose to persevere, and know that when you do, you can officially call yourself a High Achiever.

Because being a High Achiever isn’t about what you achieve. It’s about how you approach the entire journey. It’s about moments when you feel hopeless.

I want to share what I do in those moments because I feel like I’m an expert in hopelessness. I’ve felt hopeless soooooo many times. I’ve also coached clients through those moments. So, here are 5 things I do:

1 // Take a break

Not a Rachel and Ross kinda break, just time to feel my feelings and work through them. It’s okay to take a breather. You don’t have to be hustling every second.

2 // Show my subconscious mind proof that this is what dreams are made of

I have become obsessed with reading (or listening or watching) stories from super successful people and hearing about the times they felt hopeless. Hearing that Jamie Kern Lima cried herself to sleep many times and got some of the most painful rejections anyone could bear, makes me so hopeful. Because she went on to sell her makeup company for $1.2 Billion. So hearing she struggled on the journey takes away the heaviness for me. Sometimes it fully snaps me out of the doom and gloom feeling. My mind understands, “Oh, I’m still on track! And this happens to other people too, not just me.”

I know it sounds a little schadenfreude (and yes I only know how to spell that word from Avenue Q), but it just feels so reassuring knowing that so many successful people had hard moments, too.

Here are some great stories that help me:

• Jamie Kern Lima (her book Believe IT, or her countless videos like this one.

• Gabby Bernstein telling this story on her podcast

3 // Lean on spiritual stuff

The times when I feel hopeless, I don’t need a new strategy. I need someone to tell me that everything’s going to be okay and this is going to work out. I find myself diving deep into spirituality (if that’s not your thing, you can skip this one). I get obsessed with watching tarot videos on YouTube—to be honest, they really helped me a lot. It’s not just looking for videos that tell me I’m going to be rich or super successful, it’s about coming across videos that are so on point and scarily accurate with what’s going on in my life. They give me insight, and hope because they usually do end with good news.

I also watch (listen) to videos like this. It’s Brene Brown (well, actually an AI version of her voice, but still helpful) sharing “When God Is About To Give You Something Big, You Will See This.” I’ve listened to Dr. Joe Dispenza essentially say the same thing: when things are falling apart and you feel hopeless, it’s a sign that something amazing is on its way. Gabby Bernstein’s book The Universe Has Your Back has also been great.

I also ask for a sign. Like, “Hey, Universe, show me a peacock feather if I’m on the right track and should keep going.” You can pick any random sign. I like to choose things that aren’t super common because then I would wonder if everything is a sign. So when I see the random thing, I feel pleasantly surprised.

4 // Talk to a friend

I have two friends I can reach out to when I’m feeling hopeless and they will make me feel better. They hold belief in me on the days I can’t hold it for myself. (And I do the same for them.) I usually leave a voice note saying “I”m really struggling today. I’m feeling hopeless like this is never going to work out.” Sometimes I even ask, “Can you remind me that I’m a star and I’ve got this?” It’s been truly amazing to have these people in my life because sometimes it does get hard to carry the belief on my own. I know not everyone has this, but you can ask the universe for it! All it takes is one. Just one friend that gets it. That knows the dream journey because they’re pursuing one too.

It’s important to note that when we do this, it’s not a misery-loves-company conversation. It’s a transforming one. My friends will say encouraging words to help me feel hope again, they don’t complain with me and keep me down.

5 // Surrender control

This is a hard one to add to the list because I barely do it. I know I need to, but I have so much trouble. Gabby Bernstein says that when we don’t want to surrender it’s because we don’t trust that it will happen. And that’s so me. I want to control every aspect, especially the timing. But what I’ve learned in the past 16 years, is that you can’t control timing. That part is out of your hands. So all you can do is trust. Stop white-knuckling it and trust.

A Course In Miracles says, “Those who are certain of the outcome can afford to wait, and wait without anxiety.” I mean, no anxiety at all? That feels impossible. But…it brings me back to my motto, “My success is inevitable.” I believe my success is going to happen, no matter how hopeless I feel right now.

Let me remind you—even though you may not feel it right now:

You are amazing and you can do this.

One of the most important things you can do during this time is check in with your heart. Does your heart still want this dream? If the answer is yes, then you can still have it. I’ve been in awe of how much that has kept me going. In quiet moments, when I’m feeling super low, I know I’m not going to quit. I may want to in the moment, but I have this intuitive knowing that I’ll keep going, like it’s not even a question. My head questions it, but my heart has certainty. If you still want it, you can have it.

This is a totally normal part of the journey. And, hey, if the dream doesn’t exist in your heart anymore, by all means, quit. But if it does still exist, don’t let your mind trick you into believing you need to throw in the towel. That’s a lie your mind tells you to keep you safe. But let me tell you, what’s on the other side of this hopelessness is something better than you ever imagined.